HERI "Community" Retreat Info Page

Next Retreat:

HERI Community Retreat flyer


Dates: Mar 26 ~ Mar 30, with Wed & Thur as flex-days, Fri & Sat & Sun (until 2pm) as retreat-days.
Location: a private house in West Brattleboro, Vermont.
Availability: 7 people max ~ 4 spots still open.
Schedule: see below for details. General: Thur 3.30-5.30pm, Fri & Sat 10am-8.30pm, Sun 10am-2pm.
Sign up: here.

What's "flex-days" and "retreat-days"?

The intention is that we would all be living under the same roof for these 5 nights ~ a little community.

The first two days, the "flex days", we are just building rapor and creating experiences with each other, including potentials for friction and trust-building. On flex-days, people can work remotely, wonder around, hang out with each other, whatever. Just sleep under the same shared roof.

Then, on retreat days (Fri, Sat and half-Sun) we participate in retreat-specific activities and workshops, from 10am until 8.30pm ~ with lots of breaks for meals, solo time, rest.

Menu of Activities

This is the starting list, any items can be added after Opening Circle of the retreat.

For a more detailed list, visit our Living Google Doc of Menu Options

Daily Schedule

Wednesday

Self-organize, move in:

Morning: _____________________________

Afternoon: _____________________________

Evening: _____________________________

Thursday

Self-organize:

Morning: _____________________________

Afternoon: _____________________________

3.30-5.30pm ✨ Opening Circle ✨

5pm onwards _____________________________

Friday

Morning time & breakfast

10am heri 1 [2h] _____________________________

12pm Lunch prep, eat, clean up

1.30pm heri 2 [1.5h] _____________________________

3pm Solo time

4pm heri 3 [1.5h] _____________________________

5.30pm Dinner prep, eat, clean up

7pm heri 4 [1.5h] _____________________________

8.30pm Solo time, wind-down, etc

Saturday

Morning time & breakfast

10am heri 5 [2h] _____________________________

12pm Lunch prep, eat, clean up

1.30pm heri 6 [1.5h] _____________________________

3pm Solo time

4pm heri 7 [1.5h] _____________________________

5.30pm Dinner prep, eat, clean up

7pm heri 8 [1.5h] _____________________________

8.30pm Solo time, wind-down, etc

Sunday

Morning time & breakfast

10am heri 9 [2h] _____________________________

12pm Lunch prep, eat, clean up

1pm ✨ Closing Circle ✨

2pm Departures

What activites can I skip?

Our schedule of retreat-specific activities is: Thur 3.30-5.3pm, Fri & Sat 10am-8.30pm, Sun 10am-2pm.

Ideally, you will be available and present during those times. If you need to skip some - it is not the end of the world, just give the group a heads-up and recognize that you will miss out on potential important context, as every activity ends up being an opportunity for a deeper process, which then inadvertently gets added to the context of the retreat. (Context in this case refers to experiences that impact and guide our behaviors.)

Please do not skip Opening Circle (Thursday 3.30-5.30pm) and Closing Circle (Sunday 1-2pm) as best you can. If you must - give us a heads-up, and we may be able to shift times to accommodate you.

Opening Circle

Intentions

Clarify intentions, desires, outcomes, fears, expectations: for ourselves, and for each other. This will help guide our choice of activities.

Logistics (parking, shoes off in the house, clean up after yourself)

Agreements

Menu of Options

My desired pieces:

Anything else?

Closing Circle

Pre-requisites

The only 2 pre-requisites we have is that you concur with agreements and be open to things unfolding.

Having said that, our agreements reference NVC, i-statements, 'authentic relating' terms, so familiarizing yourself with those ahead of time is useful.

Key Definitions

NVC ~ non-violent communication, developed by M.Rosenberg. Core principle is to overcome intellectual communication that comes from the mind only, by connecting with our heart/feelings and most importantly our gut/needs & values. A key hand out on Feelings and Needs lives here (Pro tip: print single-page both-sides)

I-statements ~ assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values, etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word I, and is contrasted with a "you-message" or "you-statement", which often begins with the word you and focuses on the person spoken to. (Wikipedia)

The following definitions were borrowed from Sara Ness' "AR Games Manual" book:

Authentic Relating ~ a mode of communication that involves acknowledging and revealing one’s own feelings, thoughts, motivations, and perceptions.

Impact ~ sharing with the group, or a specific person, verbally how you were affected by an event or statement.

Withholds ~ things that we have left unsaid in a relationship or connection with another person. Sharing them regularly, before they build up, is the absolute best way to maintain relational health in a team, community, or relationship.

Circling ~ a relational meditation practice in which you speak your physical and emotional experience in this moment, with these people.

Owning Your Experience ~ identifying the locus of responsibility for feelings, actions, thoughts, beliefs, judgments, and behaviors within oneself, and communicating this through language such as “I” statements. “You seem angry. I feel scared.”

What else?

Any more questions? Send us an email at smile_spaces@protonmail.com

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